A Learning Experience
by Steve McGill
A hurdler quickly learns that fear is a much greater obstacle to overcome than the ten barriers he or she must face in a race. Fear of losing, fear of not living up to one’s own expectations, fear of training real hard only to lay an egg on the day of the race. As a college sophomore 33 years ago, coming back from a season in which I’d been the fourth-best hurdler on a team with four hurdlers, I was determined to move up the ranks and prove that I belonged. I worked my butt off in the off-season and came back much improved. Indeed, I had progressed from fourth-best to the best, impressing my coaches and teammates alike.
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My goal was to make the finals of conference championships and to hopefully finish as high as third in the 110 meter high hurdles. In a meet about three weeks prior to the conference championships, we were competing in a dual meet against a team that had three really good hurdlers. My fellow hurdlers and I knew that this meet would serve as a test of where we stood. I especially knew that if I could win this race, I would be on course for achieving my goal.
When the starting gun went off, I got out and took an early lead. I felt quick over the hurdles and eased into a fluid rhythm. But by hurdle six I could feel one of the hurdlers from the other school coming up beside me. By hurdle eight we were neck and neck. For an instant I thought to myself, I can’t let this kid beat me! And in that instant, he passed me. I hit the next hurdle, and he increased his lead for an easy victory.
Though I managed to hold on for second place, I was irate with myself. The race had been mine to lose, and I had lost it. I had lost my composure. At the moment when I had needed to rise to the occasion, I had panicked, causing my form to fall apart.
I was so angry with myself that I didn’t talk with anyone else for the rest of the day. When teammates came up to congratulate me on finishing second, I brushed them off. Later on, back in the dorm, when friends asked me how the meet went, I ignored them. I stayed in my room with the door locked and replayed the race in my mind over and over again.
Until finally, the thought hit me, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep pushing people away and beating myself up every time I have a bad race. I realized that I was entering races with fear – fear of how I would feel after the race if I didn’t run well. I needed to change my whole mindset, my whole approach.
The next day, a Sunday, we didn’t have practice, but I went to the track by myself and did some hurdle drills to work on the technical issues that had caused me to hit the ninth hurdle. By the end of the session I felt confident that I wouldn’t make the same mistake again Walking back to the dorm afterward, I decided that I would never again allow myself to get so emotionally distraught over a race. From now on, I would take a practical approach: figure out what I was doing wrong, work on it, and get better. No more allowing my emotions to lead the way.
Now, as a coach who trains hurdlers, I make it a point to stay calm when one of my athletes doesn’t perform well, and I emphasize to the athlete that maintaining a practical approach will always be more beneficial than getting wrapped up in his or her emotions. Most importantly, don’t judge yourself as a person by how you perform on the track. That’s the lesson I learned that day, and that’s the lesson I pass on.
My years as a coach have taught me that coaching is as much about managing athletes’ emotions as it is about coming up with workout plans, addressing technical flaws, etc. If you have the best start in the world, the best technique in the world, and the best speed in the world, but you don’t believe in yourself, what’s going to happen when the gun goes off? Things are going to fall apart rapidly. And track is an especially demanding sport emotionally because of it’s one-and-done aspect. A boxer has rounds, a wrestler has periods, a tennis player has sets, a basketball player has halftime and timeouts. In just about any other sport, except track and swimming, there is a chance to regroup after a mistake, a chance to recharge, re-evaluate. A chance to get your mind right. But in a hurdle race in particular, everything happens in a flash. And, knowing that to be the case, hurdlers will often put tremendous pressure on themselves to perform well.
I have a couple high school guys I’m working with now who missed some time last year due to injury. As they work their way back, we’re doing a lot of technique work, addressing some bad habits that need to be corrected and implementing some changes to their style that will take some time to ingrain. Meanwhile, they’re competing pretty regularly, so, of course, their bodies are going to be somewhat confused on race day. The old muscle memory is going to take over because there is no time to think during a race. Yet the new muscle memory is trying to work its way in. So, things that are wrong do feel wrong, but they can’t be corrected in the heat of the battle.
So these kids are getting frustrated and losing confidence because of their inability to transfer the progress they’re making in practice into races. So I have to keep reminding them that hey, it takes time. By the time the outdoor season hits, and definitely by the time the big outdoor meets come around, you’ll see the hard work pay off.
And not to sound like an old fart, but I do think the modern era, in which athletes can follow rival athletes on social media, when they can stay connected to Milesplit and Runnerspace and thereby know where their time ranks in the conference, in the county, in the state, in the nation, the anxiety level of the average athlete is a lot higher than it was back in the days when I was competing. Athletes are constantly comparing themselves to other athletes, and are therefore in a rush to be the best. Indoor meets in December are given just as much as weight (by coaches, parents, and athletes) as big meets in May, June, and July, which increases anxiety levels, lowers athletes’ self-esteem, and undermines the whole process of getting better.
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