Old Friends
by Steve McGill

North Carolina, the state where I live, is unique weather-wise in that it’s warm enough that we can train outside for much of the winter, but it’s cold enough that it would be very nice if there were indoor facilities where we could train. Unfortunately, there is only one indoor facility in the entire state as of now where meets are held — the JDL Fast Track in Winston Salem. So, whenever there is an indoor meet at JDL, you can pretty much assume that it’s gonna be jam-packed full of athletes. This winter, because I had a middle-distance runner who plans on competing in college next year and who was seeking out quality competition, I went to about four meets at JDL between November and February. One of the cool things about going to meets regularly is that you run into people you haven’t seen in a long time, and it kind of makes you realize, in a non-corny way, that you are part of a larger community.

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The most recent and most gratifying of these moments came just last week, at the state meet for North Carolina independent schools, where I ran into former athlete Ashley Staples, who, when I coached her, was Ashley Dutch. Ashley is among the O.G.’s of former athletes, as I coached her way back in the mid-1990’s, only a couple years into my coaching career. I was living in Raleigh at the time, and Ashley, who attended Broughton High School in downtown Raleigh, ran for the Junior Striders – a youth club that I helped with during the summers. Ashley won a state championship in the 300 hurdles her senior year and had a great Junior Olympic season. 

She went on to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, where she had a good career. But as time passed, we fell out of touch, which is what often happens as people’s lives go on. Meanwhile, her stellar high school career ended up being overshadowed by that of her brother, Johnny Dutch, whom I also helped coach. By the time he graduated, Johnny was a hurdling legend in NC. He went on to run for the University of South Carolina, where he won an NCAA championship in the 400 meter hurdles. He also had a strong professional career, qualifying for a world championship team, coming agonizingly close to qualifying for an Olympic team, and finishing with a personal best under 48 seconds. 

Ashley and Johnny are both rock solid people, as is their mom, Deborah, whom I saw for the first time in a long time a couple years ago, when Johnny was inducted into the North Carolina High School Track & Field Hall of Fame.

But getting back to seeing Ashley again, I was attending the coaches’ meeting before the start of the meet when I saw a lady guiding a hurdler through warmups. I was like, That looks like Ashley Dutch. After the coach’s meeting I walked over to where she was standing, and when we made eye contact, her eyes lit up and she yelled, “Coach McGill!” 

We hugged and then talked for a long time. I ended up losing track of time and almost forgot to make sure my athletes checked in properly and received their hip numbers, etc. She was almost in tears she was so happy to see me again. 

And it really got me thinking about how much people matter. Ashley is a mom now, with four kids. She coaches as an assistant, working with her school’s hurdlers. She’s a grown woman with a grown woman’s responsibilities, and she has retained the same down-to-earth, keeping-it-real sense of humor that always had me dying laughing way back when I used to coach her. 

Another familiar face I saw at the same meet was that of Dennis Cullen, who coached for many years at Durham Academy, and who is one of the most upstanding individuals I’ve ever met in the sport. When I saw Dennis at the coaches’ meeting, it was the same thing as with Ashley. We both beamed with smiles upon seeing each other, and spent some time catching up. Dennis, who is 73 now, said he retired years ago, but that he works with the school’s hurdlers on a part-time basis. Of course he does, I thought to myself, because he’s the type of guy who won’t say no when he’s asked for help, especially when it comes to kids. 

I used to coach against Dennis starting way back in 1996, when I was fresh out of grad school with an English degree and had no clue what I was doing when it came to coaching a whole crew of sprinters and hurdlers. Even though Dennis and I coached for rival schools, he was always dropping nuggets of wisdom on me. The one I remember the most is when I was complaining to him one time about the lack of work ethic of so many of the athletes on my team. He stated to me very plainly, “Well, Steve, teaching them work ethic is part of our job. A lot of these kids think they’re working hard and they’re really not.” I doubt that he even remembers saying that to me, but it has stayed with me throughout my coaching career, and I’m constantly reminding myself of that point he made whenever I feel myself getting impatient with kids I coach who lack self-motivation.

Having a chance to reconnect with Ashley and Dennis was enriching and fulfilling beyond words. As I write this article, the date is February 15, exactly twelve years since the death of my beloved former athlete, Cameron Akers, whom I’ve written about a ton on this website. Ashley is old enough to remember Cameron. Can’t remember exactly, but I think they graduated right around the same year  – 2001. But Cam’s name didn’t come up in our conversation. I don’t know if she knows that he has passed, and I wasn’t ready to bring up such a dark subject at such a joyous reunion. 

Cameron for me has become a symbol of reconnection, of the meaningfulness of relationships built in this sport. Cameron came to visit me shortly before he left for Iraq in 2010. And he came to visit me again about ten days before he ended his life. Cameron was all about showing gratitude to those who gave of themselves to him. At his funeral his mom asked me to help keep his memory alive. That’s why a photo of him hurdling can be found everywhere in my hurdling world – on the cover of the book I wrote (The Art of Hurdling), as my YouTube and Instagram avatars, and on the front of the T-shirts when I do hurdling camps. 

What I’ve learned is that a coaching career is more clearly defined by the relationships built than by the accomplishments achieved. Sounds simple, maybe even naive, but it’s true.

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