July 17, 2019
When the school year ended this past May, I was planning on setting up a whole bunch of interviews and conducting them throughout June and July, so that I’d be in position to start the first draft of the book by August or September. But I got a call from my brother during exam period informing me that my mom was in the hospital again, and that “it’s not looking good.” A week later, on June 3rd, she was gone.
I drove to Delaware from my home in North Carolina, spent the week up there with my siblings. Since coming home, I’ve been writing a lot of poetry—most of it related to my mom—but haven’t been working on the biography very much at all. Indeed, I kind of checked out from my life for a while—stayed away from coaching for about a month as well. I loved my mom dearly, as did all three of my siblings, and the loss of her really tore us apart. I found the grief to be tremendous, almost unbearable. Even though I knew she had lived a full life, that she died knowing that all of us loved her, and that she had died peacefully, none of that could help me deal with the fact that I really, really missed her.
Just last week I started coaching again. I’ve got several athletes who qualified for youth nationals—some AAU, some USATF—so I didn’t want to let them down by deserting them when they needed me most. But it’s different now; coaching usually heals me, gets me back in the frame of mind where I feel balanced and at peace, but it hasn’t been that way this time. I love being out there, and I love the kids I work with, but man, the sadness doesn’t go away. I’m learning to make space for it.
In regards to the biography on Nehemiah, at no time did I ever even think of pushing the project to the side. But, just knowing how much focus and energy is required to conduct a single interview, and how much mental space is required to write the story of another person’s life, I knew I wasn’t ready yet, and that I’d return to the project once I was ready.
So, in the six weeks since my mother’s passing, I’ve written and re-written enough poems to pull myself up out of the pit and place my feet on solid ground. Now that I’ve given myself the time that I needed, I’m ready to get back on the grind with this book. Prior to my mother’s passing, I had gathered plenty of research material, had conducted several immensely enjoyable and productive interviews, and was moving along at a good pace. Today, I set up two interviews for next week, and hope to set up more.
Renaldo Nehemiah is not only one of the greatest athletes to ever walk this planet, but he’s one of the most genuine human beings I’ve ever had the honor to meet. So yeah, the plan is to keep moving ahead.
